EMO SHOWDOWN!
by princ3ssch3rri3bl0ss0m724
Summary: This is if all the Xiaolin Showdown characters were completely different. The Xiaolin Dragons will be Emo, except Omi, who is Goth, of course, but I haven't really decided on the other characters.
1. Chapter 1

_**(A/N:) I know what you people are thinking. "Another story? Gosh, this chik is crazy!" I kinda think this one is really funny. I laughed when I came up with the idea, so I hope you like it!**_

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Raimundo began to cry when he saw his matt.

"What's wrong?" Kimiko asked, emotionally.

"I don't have a bed!" he fell down on his knees and cried.

"I am so sad for you!" Kimiko began to cry, too.

"I want a bed!" Raimundo yelled.

"I want a bed, too!" Kimiko hugged him tightly.

"I'm a sexy emo guy without a bed! Give me a bed so I can screw girls!" Raimundo shouted, angrily.

"I'm a flat emo girl that is sleezy, so give me a bed, too!" Kimiko shouted, as well.

Master Fung walked up to them, "Shut up, Bitches!" He began to beat them up with his awesome emo powers of getting angry easily, as well as getting other emotions easily.

"Ow!" Raimundo cried as Master Fung began to drag him to his room. Master Fung lied Raimundo on his bed and-THE SCENE THAT WAS SOPPOSED TO BE HERE WAS REMOVED FOR BEING TO GRAPHIC FOR PEOPLES UNDER THE AGE OF SIXTEEN-Raimundo cried after he got his clothes back on and went into his room. He lied down on the thin matt, still crying, and hungry for doin' it with a girl.

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**_A(/N:) Yup. Did you like it? Please, review!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**(A/N:) Here is a little note to make it a TAD bit funnier! When it says "(censored)"imagine that thing form the opening in the theme song that says "Xiaolin Showdown!". Thank-you for reading this and wasting about a minute of your time you could have used to read this chapter XP!**_

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Omi walked past his "students" angrily. Ever since they came, he hated them. He hated everyone. He was also wearing a lot of black. We all know what that means. HE'S GAY! Just kidding, he's Goth. He glared at them, one by one. Kimiko, the techno wiz chic that is an heiress to a large toy/video game company, Raimundo, the surfer dude from a large family and circus, who wears hot eyeliner **_((A/N:)(_drools**, and Clay, the cowboy freak who is the heir to a very large and productive ranch that is famous for the "best steak on this darn whole planet, partner", all glared back. All three were emo **_((A/N:) At least they are in this story)_** and weren't about to change to make this short, little Goth boy happy. Omi sighed of unaccomplishment. He walked back into the temple to tell the rapist, Master Fung, that he did not like these "freaks of nature".

"Omi," Master Fung said, "become friends with them before I rape you for the sixth time this week!"

"Yes, sir," Omi glared at him. He left the room and went into the darkest corner he could find. He sat there for hours in the darkness. Kimiko walked up to him and giggled.

"Why are you so mopey?" she was still giggling.

"I am Goth. It's my job," he shrugged.

"Sorry, 'bout the giggling. Raimundo just told me the funniest joke ever. You should here it from him, I can't say because I couldn't understand what he was saying," she finally stopped giggling.

"Sure, whatever, but I won't laugh," Omi stood up and blocked the light from his eyes and went into Raimundo's cubicle.

"Parta, o furo faz o burro, eu o do que dos antes matar! (Go away, ass hole, before I kill you!)**_((A/N:) If that isn't right, blame Word Translators)_**" Raimundo yelled in his native tongue.

"That was not funny at all. Kimiko is not one of you people whom I must trust," Omi said, without enthusiasm, what-so-ever.

Omi left the room and ran into Clay, "You're gayer than a man in a frilly pink too-too singin' along to No Secrets."

"That was not funny either," Omi yawned of boredom.

"Yes it was," Kimiko was crying of laughter.

"You are a completely and totally (_censored_) up, bitch. (_Censored_) off," Omi still didn't have any expression.

"You are so mean!" Kimiko began to cry of sadness. Omi just walked off.

"I am proud of you Omi. You told off that (_censored_) up bitch like she really deserved it, even though she didn't!" Master Fung hugged the STILL nonexpressioned Omi.

"Whatever," Omi yawned.


	3. Chapter 3

**_(A/N:) Here is the next chapter! Hope you like it!_**

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Jack stood outside of the temple with a large grin on his face. He might have had his eyeliner on, but he was 100 percent jock! Jack walked up to the vault entrance. The pinch black sky covered up his green letter jacket perfectly. He opened the vault quietly and pulled out as many wu as possible…well, all the ones on his SO secret list not even I knew what was on it. He left the temple quietly, saving his evil laugh for when he got home. 

He entered the large mansion during a wild party his parents always threw and snuck down into the dark basement. He walked up to Ashley. She was in a fluffy and short pink skirt and a lighter pink tank top. She had on white pumps, though.

"Jack," her voice rang in Jack's ears, "did you get ALL of the wu on my list?"

"Yes, your gorgeousness," Jack bowed.

"Good. You know what you won for that?" She purred like a kitten while stoking under his chin.

"Yea-huh," he slightly began to drool as he stared into her dark black eyes. She slowly kissed him on the lips. When they broke apart for air they ran quickly into the secret room Jack had put in for these kinds of prizes.

--AT THE XIAOLIN TEMPLE--

Dojo looked into the vault disappointedly. He yawned and then went back into the television room. He tried as hard as he could to lift up his heavy body and place it on the couch so he could reach the potato chips and the TV remote. He flipped through the channels for a while, paused, burped, and then went back to flipping through the channels. Master Fung walked in and glared.

"You dumb ass, your job around here is to guard the wu and find them when they activate, not run up the cable bill!" Master Fung yelled at the fat dragon.

"Gosh, I'll lose this wait as soon as I detect a wu, so stop worrying about my health!" Dojo scratched himself.

"YOU'RE FIRED!" Master Fung yelled.

"You can't fire me! I have a fan club!" Dojo whined.

"You'll be fired sooner or later! AND, NOW, IT'S TIME TO FIND SOMEBODY TO CURSE WITH MY CRAVINGS!" Master Fung left to probably rape Raimundo again.

"Finally!" Dojo cheered. He burped very loudly, shrugged, and went back to flipping through channels.

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**_(A/N:) Yet another creepy chapter of EMO SHOWDOWN! Do you think I should get somebody to write the uncensored version? With all cut out scenes, words, and junk put in? Well...if your interested than ask me if you can have the job! If you don't have experience, it doesn't mean you don't HAVE a chance, you just have a small chance, but if you're still interested you can still ask! You never know who I'll choose until I tell you who I chose!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_(A/N:) Sorry it took me a while to update! PLEASE ENJOY!_**

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"ANOTHER SHEN GONG WU!" Dojo yelled at the dragons, who were only half an inch away from him.

"OW! My perfect looking ears!" Raimundo whined.

"SHUT UP!" Dojo yelled, as he super-sized, squishing our beloved emo/Goth dragons.

"Er," Kimiko squeezed out from beneath Dojo, "what's the wu?"

"It's the thingy that can do stuff!" Dojo said happily.

"That is just pathetic, Dojo," Omi climbed up on Dojo after everybody got out from underneath him.

"Whatever," Dojo burped after everybody climbed on, and then he flew off into the horizon.

--IN THE BAMBOO FORESTS OF CHINA--

"Chasey-wasey!" Wuya walked up to him, giggling.

"Wh-w-what?" Chase got scared when Wuya talked to him. He had a HUGE crush on her.

"I think you're a total DORK!" she began to laugh at him.

"I'm not a dork!" Chase began to cry.

"Yes, you are!" Jack walked up, holding onto Ashley's hand.

"Jack! How dare you go out with that-that-WHITE TRASH!" Wuya glared at Ashley.

"Well, you're red!" Ashley stuck her tongue out at Wuya.

"She's being mean to me!" Chase cried.

"Shut up," Dojo yelled as he landed on top of him.

Raimundo jumped off the dragon and ran towards the wu. He grabbed it and lifted it up, "THINGY THAT CAN DO STUFF!"

The deformed-looking wu blasted out and everybody turned into hot girls, while the scenery turned into, Rio da Janeiro, Brazil.

"YES! My dream come true!" Raimundo ran up to Wuya, who had only turned shorter than him and he cocked his eyebrows.

Wuya giggled, while Chase, who was turned into a dorky girl, began to cry, again.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Kimiko broke the two up, after they had begun to make out.

Wuya glared at the yellow girl, but then she got over it and began to walk away.

"Bitch," Raimundo said to himself.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Kimiko glared at the boy.

"A GIRL WHO IS P-" he begun, but Kimiko knocked him out before he could finish.

"WHO ELSE WANTS A PIECE OF ME!" she yelled as everything went back to normal.

Everybody looked at the others and began to run away.

"I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T CARE!" Kimiko began to cry into Raimundo's chest.

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**_(A/N:) YAY! Another Chapter down, and a whole lot more to go! YAY! Oh, if you guess what Raimundo was trying to say to Kimiko, you can be a guest star in the next chapter as the Evil Dragon of YO MAMA!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_(A/N:) I came up with a theme song for this story! Here it is: EMO SHOWDOWN (rest of the theme song for Xiaolin shodown) EMO SHOWDOWN! WOO! Please enjoy this chapter!_**

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After Raimundo beat the shit out of Kimiko, the people all turned back to normal and they left Kimiko there to rot.

"Kimiko was most unworthy of existence," Omi smiled.

"I know, my gothic partner, men like us don't need no women around tellin' us what to do! We should be havin' sex with em' and gettin' 'em pregnant so they can do what they do best! Bein' house wives," Clay smiled.

"I totally agree," Raimundo said.

"Me, too!" Dojo burped.

"Let's stand up for men's rights! DOWN WITH WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND UP WITH THE MALE HOROMONES THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTROL!" Raimundo stood up and shouted.

"I agree with this rebellious act! Who knew emos actually had brains?" Omi stood up as well.

"Let's get em', partners!" They ran into to town and gathered all the non-pregnant sexy women they could find. Which was only three, if you didn't count the statue.

The boys laughed evilly, as they dragged the girls into their rooms and—THE SCENE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PLACED HERE HAS BEEN TAKEN OUT BECAUSE IT IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR PEOPLES UNDER THE AGE OF SIXTEEN—The girls smiled after they finished getting dressed.

"That was fabulous," said the dumb blonde.

"Yea, we should do it again sometime," said the stupid brunnet.

"Hee-hee! I had lots of fun!" said the idiotic red head.

"How does Master Fung do it, without the people liking it?" Raimundo asked.

"He's just so damn ugly, partner," Clay said.

"Girls can't resist this sexy guy!" he ripped off his shirt, making all three girls faint.

"Raimundo, you have to realize, you are designed to be a girls dream come true, no matter how much eye liner you wear. But, unfortunately, Jack was designed to be a god in baseball tights," Omi stated matter-of-factly.

"I can be a god in baseball tights!" Raimundo whined.

"No…you're too muscular, meaning, you're only a god when you're naked," Omi said.

"I'm gonna be a stripper when I grow up!" Raimundo shouted.

"Good for you, partner," Clay yawned.

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**_(A/N:) Okay...I didn't need to know any of that...oh well, too late to sue now! WOO! Review!_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Raiju: **YAY! IT'S SPRING BREAK!

**Raimundo: **Raiju does not own Xiaolin Showdown or me, so on with the story!

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The male Xiaolin Dragons flew off to get another shen-gong-wu. When they got there, they saw the worst nightmare. A dark skin toned boy named Treyvon.

"Hey, Eyeliner Boy, when are ya gonna get out of ya mama's make up?" Treyvon asked.

"Hey!" Raimundo yelled, "I'm emo! I look good in eyeliner!"

"Yo mama is _so ugly_ that when she saw a pile of barf, it threw up!" Treyvon laughed evilly.

"MY MAMA ISN'T UGLY!" Raimundo yelled.

Hannibal Roy Bean walked…I mean, jumped up on Raimundo's shoulder, "Yea (_hiccup_) she (_hiccup_) is (_faints from drinking too much beer_)."

We go to a picture at the Xiaolin Temple, and the screen zooms in on a current picture of his mom. She's a famous Brazilian model.

"Hat Man! Yo mama is _so FAT_ that she breaks an elevator if she is the only person in it!" Treyvon smirked as Clay began to cry.

"And bald dude, yo mama is _soooooooo stupid_, that a preschooler asked her what the first letter of the alphabet was and she said, 'Uh…'4'?'" Treyvon looked shocked when Omi did not begin to cry.

"I am an orphan, or have you forgotten that for the ONE MILLIONTH TIME!" Omi yelled SO LOUD that Treyvon turned to dust. YAY! But, then the world blew up and this story ended…but there is going to be a sequel! YAY! ONLY if you want a sequel, when Jack and Chase go back to norman and Katnappe and Wuya are dead, and Kimiko MIGHT come back if you vote for it, but I bet the guys won't like her back when she is norman, too. I just love saying the word "norman" instead of "normal", don't you?

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**Raiju: **Please-

**Raimundo:** REVIEW!


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